Can I suck your dick?
*Teacher pops out of nowhere*: I don’t know, CAN you??
BEING UGLY IS REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING
when i say i hate school it doesn’t mean i hate education and knowledge. it means that i hate selfish and ignorant people there. it means that i hate stress and high expectations. it means that i hate being treated like a shit. it fucking means that i hate feeling like a failure all the time.
every 1st september we joke about getting ready for hogwarts to cover up the very real and very very deep scars of never getting our letters
One time I was in a mattress store and there was a hella cute worker there but I was too tired to flirt and ended up napping on one of the mattresses and when he saw me wake up he came over with a banana in his hands and said “when I saw you I went bananas” and then pulled a coupon out of his pocket and said “and I also got you a coupon because I’m free for dinner” and that is the story about how i met my soulmate